Often times, when people think or talk about weddings, its of the bride. Sometimes it seems that the groom is left out. So we wanted to show the wedding day story from the grooms perspective. Below you will find the 1st of a 3 part grooms story. Come back tomorrow and Thursday to read the rest of the saga!
There I was in the mirror; all decked out in a rented tuxedo, shiny cuff-links and all. I’ve never understood the point of fancy cuff-links, or of cuff-links in general for that matter. At no time have I said to my self “Self, if only there were some way to link these two sides of my cuff together” and not immediately realized that there was a button designed for that exact purpose right there on the cuff already.
I was alone in the little dressing room beneath the non-denominational chapel we’d chosen for the wedding ceremony. I’m not sure where everyone was, but I had been instructed to remain in the dressing room for fear of laying eyes on my bride-to-be before the big reveal. I wasn’t as excited as I expected to be; more relieved that all the preparations were done.
My fiancee Jenny and I had agreed at the onset of our engagement that we would both prefer something relatively simple and low-stress, but that had not turned out to be the case. In fact you might say that it turned out to be exactly the opposite of the case. As the date approached she had become incredibly stressed out about the minutia of every aspect of the day to the point where the day before the wedding, the idea of jumping ship and running away to Mexico was starting to sound really good.
I hadn’t run away to Mexico, obviously, but the option still loomed.
We chose to have our reception at our house, which in hindsight wasn’t a great idea. I’d powered through the exhaustive preparations with as much poise as I could muster. We spent a really long time looking at pictures of cakes before selecting one. We selected the perfect bit of music to play during the walk down, and the subsequent walk back up, the isle. We agonized over color schemes and font choices and proper wording for invites, each of which needed a ribbon to be tied a certain way. We spent a lot of energy on meticulously crafted center pieces with bedazzled floating candles and little gelatinous water-beads. We cleaned the house until the vacuum cleaner became an extension of my will. We arranged for the food to be catered. We spent exorbitant amounts of money.
We picked up a hundred chairs that weren’t good enough, dropped off of those chairs and picked up different ones from a different place, all with a rented U-Haul that had to be out of the driveway before the reception. I drove all over town looking for an unguarded dumpster to ditch a couple of bags of trash that couldn’t be seen laying around. I really was doing my best to be helpful. Despite all that, every time my bride-to-be looked at me, I got the stink-eye. A lot of stink-eye.
I wasn’t thinking of enough things to be busy with. I wasn’t doing the things she wanted done fast enough. At one point she caught me not doing wedding preparations. I was in the backyard with her father, my father, Pat (the best man), his father, and a few other folks. We were playing with a scale-model medieval trebuchet and using it to chuck rocks over the fence. I think the only reason her head didn’t actually explode was that the energy was focused into lasers that fired out of her eyes and left scorch marks on the patio furniture. Even her parents gave me sympathetic looks.
Even in the worst of the thinly-veiled hostility being perpetrated in my direction, I managed to brush it off with the assurance that it was just pre-wedding stress and that it’s normal. I expected it to a certain extent thanks to a largely Hollywood-based frame of reference, but it still blew my mind to see it in real life. Wedding stress can do terrible things to a woman, evidently.
Suffice to say, I was pretty well sick of preparing for the wedding.
~ Zachary Wakefield
Zach Wakefield is a family man from Vermont with many interests including a variety of musical instruments, electronic engineering and inventing, medieval weaponry, and creative writing. He also manages a blog, aptly named ” Random Things to Read ” which he uses as a creative outlet or just a place to goof around with words. Zach has also published a lovely little illustrated story-poem entitled ” Rutkin ” (an equally, if not as obviously, apt name) which, as you’ll see if you click on the link there, is available on Amazon.